I understand clearly now why God leaves us alone. I hope it is for just a little while longer for me. I have been on my own for seven months now. But I at least understand why. Now I understand.
It is like Theresa said, and John, that He will remove Himself like removing the breast from an infant’s mouth, otherwise she would never learn to live on her own, fend for herself. This strength, also referred to by the saints as soul stamina, is the only way to make us feel safe against the darkness that will continue to pummel us as we climb the ladder further. Not that He would abandon us, or command our angel to leave our side, but in learning how to stand on our own, we also acknowledge this gift to us.
We are able to handle more and more hardship as the time increases. Our faith strengthens. This is the goal. This is why it is said repeatedly that when God withdraws his sweetness and consolations he is showing His love for us even more. It is a signal of more and more commitment to us. We know, actually know, that He is still there, and He will answer our prayers if we ask. It is enough to realize that He is simply there though.
Reflecting back on my troubles, I see how He has erased most of them. As I have grown in spirit I have grown in faith. I feel Him smiling down at me. I can hold my center. I can forgive and reach out. I can take on burdens because I know now to simply hand them over. With thanks. In prayer. I forget my suffering and let the world fade as I step up another rung. Oh how tall must this ladder be…