I can’t remember all of the first conversations I had with him. I wish I would have written them down, but I never could have thought that this would continue. They were both audible and tactile, short and to the point. This is one of the ways I know them to be real.
I remember, one of the very first things that he made clear to me was that I was not to pray to him. I don’t believe that I have, however my preoccupation with him has maybe qualified as such. I do believe that my overall infatuation with him is simply because of how much I fear Our Creator. I read something though, that said you should not encourage a relationship with an angel, they are only there to direct.
So I will make note of the things that I have heard from my angel, other than the several times I have heard him simply whisper “Shhh“ in my ear, one of the most effective and sweetest things.
July 2025
* Some months ago while I was dead asleep I was jerked awake by someone. It was abrupt. This person was strong. I fell back asleep thinking I must have imagined it, but at the time I knew I was lying to myself. It was no dream. I felt a hand in my own, clear as if I were fully conscious. I was not allowed to sleep again though as I was jerked awake again! When I questioned him as to why he did that I received no response. I was not late for an appointment. I had no alarm that I overslept. I have no idea what that was about.
* When I had the puppy in my house a few weeks ago, and he was pushing me to the breaking point, I started thinking that it was not going to work out. Then I heard very clearly, “Trust Me.” I did have to return the dog, so I have no idea what that was about either, and if I did or did not trust what was being made clear.* Things were not great after that so I wonder if I failed that test.
(I understand “Trust me” now. One week later I started to write this. The month of July I was totally immersed in it, which is the most important thing…)
* I woke up to a peaceful scene of the sun shining through the south facing window. My angel stood near me and then knelt down, “Are you ready to start writing?” I was still fuzzy with sleep and was not quite sure what this meant, but I knew at that time it was more of a direction to do so than a question of what I wanted to do.
* I was searching again this morning, sitting at my secretary asking questions. Again, wanting answers. I had given up on the date and duration of my struggles though. I had given up. But as soon as the question was out of my mouth in my thoughts, “How do I ever feel worthy again to even speak with You?” there was a hand on my face, not so gentle but quick and direct, and directed I was. My eyes fell specifically upon a book that I brought into my house. A book that I had not even opened yet.
* Two days ago, I was told by an old friend that my best friend in high school has stage 4 cancer. I considered flying back home to see her. I thought about seeing my friends. I could stay at my uncle’s house. When I truly thought I would, I heard a loud “No!” Nothing else. Just no. I did not need to hear anything else. I knew perfectly well why this was said. I promised myself never to set foot on that state’s soil ever again, no matter how desperate someone or some situation was.
* Now this morning in reading St. Theresa’s book, The Interior Castle, I thought about the lower mansions I am still dwelling in, but have had experiences in the upper that have been more severe. In keeping with her directions to approach this work with humility, I started thinking that it was absurd that I could have had any mystical experiences in the past. I surely needed to spend years contemplating and praying and ascending the ladder. Then I heard, not so loudly this time, “You’ve done enough.” I did not agree, so I heard it again, “You have experienced enough.”
* Today I had to make a decision about treatment for my dog’s cancer. I ultimately placed her in God’s hands. Even though it was a painful choice, I feel totally at peace. I feel the grace back in my life. I have made the right decision. My angel stood behind me as I hung up the phone. He placed his hands upon my shoulders, and told me he was proud of me. I cried, and I am not sure if that crying was for my dog or if it was for him, feeling him near again, or softly saying the words, “I’m proud of you.”
September 5th, 2025
* Sitting in the evening out on my swing. Feeling alone but not alone. I called on him again, “Please tell me what He want’s me to do in this time of aridity.” There was a pause of silence for a bit, until I begged. “Wait.” That was it. Once again, his voice was so clear, almost loud, and it was coming from a certain somewhere. It was not in my head. It never has been. This time I knew he stood in front of me under a nearby tree. He occupied that space.
September 10th, 2025
* This morning when I was in bed not sleeping, around two-thirty I can guess, my mind set on repeat. It looped around all kinds of disturbing thoughts, one of them on my dog who has possibly taken a turn for the worse. I don’t think I was even thinking of Hospice, maybe I was, but I heard him say, “Call them, please.” How upsetting. But this thing he does know.
November 6th, 2025
* “Listen” That was what I heard this morning when not even expecting it. I was both physically and verbally asked, maybe more forced, to sit down at the table and meditate. Whenever my mind wandered, as it does for most people, I simply heard the word “Listen.” As I sunk further into the state of relaxation, I saw him again. He wore a long robe of white and slowly circled around me until he stood behind. He gently lifted my hair and was so close I could almost feel his breath upon my neck. “Listen to the silence between the noises.”
November 15th, 2025
* After breaking my garage door, my car locked in the garage, I know you were protecting me from driving drunk, possibly causing great harm. You prevented me from my fueling my addiction.
* Now today, my car title arrived in the mail unopened. What a disaster in losing one. Somehow this letter made it all the way to Denver and back to my house safely. You like to laugh at these hiccups you cause. I can see your mouth curled up in mirth while I realize your personal interference in my daily life.
December 17th, 2025
I know I did not turn on that light last night. I am 100% sure. I made a definite choice to not turn it on because it would drown out the Christmas tree, yet when I sat on the couch I realized it was on. I told him it was a “ghost move,” but had asked earlier for him to go ahead and hang out with me, but not to spill my wine again.
January 7th, 2026
He obviously fixed the garage door light.
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* At this point, I live so closely with Auriel that I am discontinuing writing about him on this page. Everything now will be posted in the “Writings” blog page within the category “Angels.”