What I’ve learned from the last entry:
God has made it known to me that my ideals of the book being something that I created are not to His liking. He is not angry at me, but it is not going the way He wants. I am to be Hid advocate. Visionary. I am supposed to scribe what He wants.
In order to feel Him with me so closely again. The consolations He was giving me. The Divine direction. I must become His lover once again. All eyes focused on Him. Nothing else. I am to act as an angel of His own. What they would act like. I have said before, if an angel can feel shame and supplicate before Him, why do we think we do not have to?
I still do not feel Him, but He is making Himself know to me with little nudges. I think I have healed my anger, then lose my temper. I think that I have gotten control of my addictions, then I relapse. I think I am living with grace, I fall.
That is what I have learned. I am not the one who is acting nicely. I need to remember that. So I say, “By the grace of God…”
By the grace of God, I have stopped abusing alcohol.
By the grace of God, my temper has abated.
By the grace of God, I am able to accept this.
By the grace of God, my life has finally become easy.
By the grace of God, I am forever grateful.