I just had a realization come to me. It came through so strongly and so direct that I know it to be true. I had a memory of a man I encountered, an angel in human form. So I will write this story…
Back in December of 2014, I was on a plane flying back to Michigan. My step-mother was dying and had very little time. I didn’t know how long, but I was rushing to get there to help my father, who was alone with her, along with my step-brother. I sat on the plane in a sort of fog not knowing what I was about to walk into. I imagined, although she was at her home in bed, she would not die there. Surely professionals were there to take over. That was not the case. My mind wandered. I was only thinking of my family who needed me there, and I felt strong enough to do just that.
Normally I sleep on a plane. The white noise lulls me like nothing else. This time however, a young man, hippy type, sitting next to me asked me why I was flying. So I told him my mother (which I thought of her as) was dying, and didn’t have much time to live. I was hoping I made it in time. He said he was flying home to his best friends funeral. He was going to play in their band for it. I found that a strange coincidence, even though I didn’t believe in them, but I was not exactly thinking clearly at that time.
The flight attendant came around to take drink orders and his comment was, “Well, if there’s any two people on this flight who need one it’s us.” So he offered to buy me a cocktail. It was then that we both found out that airlines didn’t take cash anymore, so I gave her my card.
I do not remember, at this time, anything of our conversation. I wish I could, but I draw a total blank….
When we landed and I had a short layover, he asked, “Why don’t you let me buy you lunch? After all you bought the drinks.” This, where we were, was his destination, but he stayed. We had a meal and then he went on his way.
What always struck me most about this interaction is that I never got his name, and he never got mine. I know our talk, the one I can’t remember, didn’t include the exchange of any small talk. And it was completely unnecessary to know who each other was, because we already knew who each other was. At least, that is what I know now.
When I arrived at my father’s house, I walked into chaos. There was nothing done, nothing organized for the arrival of death that was very close I realized at the time. My father was walking around like a ghost, so deep in shock. My step-brother was already in a state of grief. It took two seconds for me to snap into a totally different person. I was in what I call nurse mode, however, it is not that but I become the one to usher someone into death. That is the accurate definition that I have given it now.
This was the first time I had to do this, and I have no idea how it happened. Yes, I was working in a hospital, but no means a nurse, I was an administrator. How I knew what I knew now, today, sitting here, I am questioning. I remember the first thing I said when I walked in the room and saw her unkempt and dressed in an oversized black T-shirt was, “When was the last time she was bathed?” and then, “Have you ever seen this lady wear black?” I had caregivers there later that afternoon who could take over her general hygiene and dressed her in one of her pale pink shirts. They did her hair and pampered her.
She knew I made it there. It’s strange but when I approached her bed and spoke to her, simply saying, “I’m here.” She said, “Is that Jen D?” That girl had died years ago. She was a friend of ours. I corrected her and told her it was me. Her last words were, “Oh, honey, I’m so glad your here.”
Was this the beginning of it all? Is this supposed to continue for me?
On the seventh day of being there, I hadn’t really slept at all, I finally had the chance to go downstairs and get into bed. We had round the clock caregivers at that point. I was woken only fifteen or twenty minutes later by the young girl who was there. She was scared to death, not panicking, but the look on her face… I told her to go ahead and wait in the other room. She was hugely relieved. My father was in a panic once again saying, “I reached out when I was sleeping and her hand was cold.” Yes, she was gone. It was 4:40 in the morning.
I was prepared for this as best I could have been, and it was the most peaceful death I have witnessed. Sometime prior to it I asked the Hospice nurse that was working with us, “I am the one who is going to need to know… How do I know when death is approaching. I am the one who will have to call you.”
She told me this. “There are physical signs like agitation, cold extremities and shallow breathing. Then you know it will most likely be within the next twenty-four hours. But the real way you can tell is that they will be walking so close to the other side, they will have one foot in this world and one in the other.”
So now today I wonder… did this young man on the plane have something to do with this, my ability to handle everything and actually transform into someone else? I know that he did. I now know that simple but strange interaction between us was Divine intervention, that he was sent for me, to influence me, make me strong enough to handle it. I know this because I can’t stop crying while writing this. I am being guided by may angel right now so that I can write as fast and accurately as I am. I am sure I will feel dizzy, exhausted or have a terrible headache when I am done.
I am done.