I don’t know what to say… I don’t know why I am sitting here at my desk after having woke at 4am. I started reading The Big Book. I understand some things. I remember. I don’t need to write anything actually. I merely need to sit with my head bowed. Yes, He was very close to me last year. I became arrogant. I felt special. I continued to drink. I continued to tie myself to this world. I don’t think He wanted that, but I will no longer speak for Him. Another terrible mistake.
I have been humbled today. I have been filled with anxiety. Not relying on Him. Trying to control my surroundings. My back almost gave out. I felt the twinge of sharp pain. Something based on nothing. It was probably His reminder. I should trust Him with my life. I should just trust Him period. I can’t believe most of what I have written here is false. Anything after August 1st should be deleted.