I wonder if Auriel is making himself known to me as he was in the beginning. I’m sure he is. He stands to the left of me, behind me and does not speak or touch me. It is simply a sense. A very, very strong sense. Yes, like in the beginning. He smiles and I sense that as well, but no visions. I am glad for that. However, there is something I must explain.
I can see him in my minds eye. The best I can describe this is as if it were imaginary, fantasy, made up, but it is not something I think up beforehand. It is not something I consciously think up, which is what is required of an imaginary thought or image. It happens before I would have any time to conjure up something. The feelings that well up inside are also not made up. They cannot be. Even if one were to develop a strong imaginary relationship the feelings would not exist. It would be a flat, trumped up conversation, and a visual that wouldn’t go beyond something akin to looking at a still image in photograph.
I failed by thinking of him too much. When I felt the Creator pull back, and I thought that He had left me alone, I was desperate for my angel and his consolations that are nothing the same as the ones from the Divine, but are none the less comforting. So I went too far. I think I can change up what I have defined as a chunk of time though, currently listed as February – April and select the bits and pieces of nonsense. Yes, I will go back and do that.