It has been nearly seven months since this all began. The Divine swiftly moved into my life as the Chinook Winds came to my back door. They stayed for 48 hours, which is what they normally do, and I felt emotionally and spiritually like I did twenty-five years ago. I had only felt them a few times since then. It was my dearest friend’s birthday, February 2nd, but she had died four years ago. I thought she was visiting me, and I needed it with what all I had gone through within that same time.
I didn’t know it was not going to leave… as I said, I would have started writing then, but maybe not, I had no idea what was going on. My angel clearly said to me one morning when I woke about a month ago, “Are you ready to start writing?” This was one of the several intellectual locutions that I have experienced. That definition is something I read in St. Theresa of Avila’s writings. More and more interpretations by saints totally define the times I have been overwhelmed by such things.
It’s hard for me to not feel special. After all, Theresa was adamant that these feelings of grace only last a couple of hours to a couple of days at most. I am either misinterpreting what I feel (but how can I?) or I still have an awfully big ego. I am forever drawing myself back into a state of humility and doubt because of this. However, she also stated that doubt is an insult and should not be entertained. Somehow, I am not afraid of these contradictory conclusions.