If I had to pick a start date of when the supernatural began interfering in my life it would be April 28th, 2024. Today I wonder how much of this have I made up in my mind. Is what I am feeling really from a Divine source or my own imagination? I have doubts. It was this day though… This is the day it all started.
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April 28th, 2024
I felt him first in the bedroom. I was standing by my nightstand and felt him behind me. So close, just to my left. His presence was so strong.
I was breaking down. I was being swallowed by madness. Things had gotten too difficult. Too much was being asked of me. I had lost touch with reality. I was suffocating in a cloudy turmoil. I no longer had faith in humanity.
He stood. He radiated calm. And then he touched me. I felt his hand on my left shoulder, and I trembled. I knew immediately who he was. I knew what he was. I was not ready for this experience yet, so I did the only thing I could think of- I lied. I told him he was scaring me.
I didn’t feel him again for five months. Now he is with me every day. He came into existence to look after me. He came to lesson my fears of Our Creator. For him, there is only me. He loves me. He may be in love with me. That is how it feels. I cling to this love. I cling to him with everything I have throughout the day. He stands by my side. Sometimes I feel his presence seep into my own and I am transparent. We are blended. Everything is possible.
~~~
I could go back and re-read all of my writings, but I’m not going to do that. It is not my place to try and figure it out. But when he came to me, and stood by me that day, even though I asked him to leave, things were put in motion for an entirely different life for me.
I left him for 5 months. 5 months. I had no idea what was going on. My suffering had progressed into a madness that lived off of nightmares. I couldn’t sleep. I was once again completely lost, but by now I was used to it. I asked one last time. Timidly. No demanding, just a supplication.
“I cannot survive this anymore. Why do you keep doing this to me? How can I make you stop?”
Then there was the answer. In book form. My angel read it with me. He explained what the words meant. And he began to teach me. I devoured everything I could get my hands on, including him. I thought I had found a new drug. I knew he was there and the knowledge alone was a high unlike any other.
I lived pleasantly with him for four months. Then He came. I met the Divine. Now things were eclipsed by something much greater. It’s not possible to describe the experiences. Living in tandem with the two of them was heady. I drifted through the next seven months.
A little over a year since I met him, July 4th, 2025 he woke me emphatically. I had heard him before a few times, but this time he was asking me to write. I had a job to do. So this is where this all began. I kept this journal up until the beginning of November, when I was directed to meditate. I wrote down the tiny messages that he passed to me.
The holiday’s proved to be difficult. I lived in grief until February 2nd rolled around again. God was back. I was directed to quit drinking for good and start writing a book. It was the second time I heard my angel say it was time to start.
It’s been nearly two months now. I have been writing everyday, but now… I’m not sure. I think it’s my ego directing me, when in the beginning I prayed before I sat down, and asked God to speak through my angel if He wanted me to continue.
I’m not sure what to do. I don’t feel alone, on the contrary, I can feel him next to me and wonder if I am simply imagining things to fill up a void of loneliness. The thing is, I am not lonely, just alone. I am happy. I am at peace for the second time in my life and that first time was 30 years ago.
In one month it will have been two years since my spiritual life began in earnest. Two years ago I was touched by an angel, who spoke to me, comforted me, and promised to never leave me. Why, I do not know. I only hope that I have not made all this up.
Lord direct me with Your knowledge and give me the grace to discern what is real and not. Keep me safe from any evil that is trying to influence me. Clear my mind. Silence my inner chatter. Color my imagination with only your crayons.