My anger returned. My judgement ensued. I did not lose my grasp on reality, but felt solely responsible for the disconnect between myself and the rest of human-kind.
It didn’t terrify me.
Now I feel His Light and complete comfort again. It, settled deep within me. Perhaps this was another purging.
I only want to be back here in this space of stillness and utter peace.
I am reminded again that I have lost the will to fight.
I feel His Light within me and it terrifies me. Will I ever be the same?
I fear for my sense of self. I fear for my intellect. I fear for my grounded-ness to all things mundane.
I fear those closest to me that will take me away from this Light. I fear The Dark Night once again.
I am very very calm… I don’t feel itchy to move. I don’t want to talk. I don’t want to connect to others. I don’t want to think. I want to be still.
I feel euphoric. My head is somewhat dizzy. I wish I could feel this way always. I feel solely connected to His Light.
I don’t want to be the same.
I don’t want to die… I just don’t want to be here anymore.
When you are at a level where you see things so clearly, but you are walking with others who don’t see clearly, in order to balance that your soul must have great stamina. This is where the pain lies.
– Carolyn Myss