My anger returned. My judgement ensued. I did not lose my grasp on reality, but felt solely responsible for the disconnect between myself and the rest of human-kind.
It didn’t terrify me.
Now I feel His Light and complete comfort again. It, settled deep within me. Perhaps this was another purging.
I only want to be back here in this space of stillness and utter peace.
I am reminded again that I have lost the will to fight.
I feel His Light within me and it terrifies me. Will I ever be the same?
I fear for my sense of self. I fear for my intellect. I fear for my grounded-ness to all things mundane.
I fear those closest to me that will take me away from this Light. I fear The Dark Night once again.
I am very very calm… I don’t feel itchy to move. I don’t want to talk. I don’t want to connect to others. I don’t want to think. I want to be still.
I feel euphoric. My head is somewhat dizzy. I wish I could feel this way always. I feel solely connected to His Light.
I don’t want to be the same.
I don’t want to die… I just don’t want to be here anymore.