Shhh… That is all I hear from him when I need it, when I need him.
Shhh…
Angels
Yes, this is happening
July 17th, 2025
I know now why I am writing. I need to remember. I need proof, at least to myself, that these things are happening and are not usual. I have dark thoughts ever since I felt alone a few weeks ago. I know I am safe, but they are disturbing and I want them gone.
I stand in the shower and question my sanity again. What if this is all an illusion? A fantasy? What if I have simply lost my mind? I thought I had before, that was when I met my angel. At that point, either I was going into a facility for others to take care of me, or he was going to take care of me. That was his decision anyway.
I know he is not, nor has ever been, my guardian angel. He made it quite clear at that moment, standing beside me at my nightstand, that he was there for me right then. He was sent at that very moment to intervene.
I think about confiding in someone, meaning a spiritual guide, but I fear I will be met with opposition. Anyone I told this to would think I’m delusional, and anyone who has experienced this sort of thing might compete with me, saying their experience was more real, more intense, more personal, and then I would know they were caught up in their own illusion that had nothing to do with me and nothing to do with God.
Why do I think these things? I am no expert on any of this and I am just writing to myself. But today… today I felt it again, the state of grace. I’m not sure if I was feeling the Divine or my angel’s presence, but someone was eclipsing the most recent fears I struggle with, and letting me know that sometimes I am walking near to the other side.
Tears of Relief
July 16th, 2025
I, again, am so overwhelmed with this experience I spill tears upon my desk. It rains and rains outside. This is a place that never sees rain. I think it may be your tears, witnessing my freedom, and spilling relief over something you feel responsible for.
Grief. I feel it. I think to say “You are not responsible,” but you take on the burden like a dear friend who vowed to look out for me and failed. It’s okay. As I heard before on my father’s deathbed – him comforting an angel – “It’s okay…”
ME: “Maybe I am just distracting myself with learning all this archetype stuff.”
THE ANGEL: “You realize that’s exactly what you are doing.”