Day: April 20, 2026

A Year 3, Author's Notes, Letters to The Divine
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Lord forgive me. Understand. I am only human, and my failings are great. I will always fail without you.

I remember. I don’t want to have to go through it again.
Please fill my heart with the knowledge of You. Fill my life with Your grace.

Lead me. I keep falling down. Please give me strength, or at least the courage to know my own weakness, so that I may turn it over to you.

A Year 3

The Big Book

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I don’t know what to say… I don’t know why I am sitting here at my desk after having woke at 4am. I started reading The Big Book. I understand some things. I remember. I don’t need to write anything actually. I merely need to sit with my head bowed. Yes, He was very close to me last year. I became arrogant. I felt special. I continued to drink. I continued to tie myself to this world. I don’t think He wanted that, but I will no longer speak for Him. Another terrible mistake.

I have been humbled today. I have been filled with anxiety. Not relying on Him. Trying to control my surroundings. My back almost gave out. I felt the twinge of sharp pain. Something based on nothing. It was probably His reminder. I should trust Him with my life. I should just trust Him period. I can’t believe most of what I have written here is false. Anything after August 1st should be deleted.